Make-up is a constant reminder that perfection is temporary. And that the true self always comes with imperfections.
Against my will, a storm is rising. Bent on finding my weakness.
She’s told me she’s visiting. To stay at my end for a few days. How do I explain to her that things have changed? I’m in a relationship now and besides, it’s not a good time of the month to host a visitor. Financially, all isn’t well.
I take a piece of paper, and do some maths after which I pick my phone.
“Hi Nina! Sorry, something came up. Why don’t I send you some money to buy a few things for yourself and your family. We can postpone your visit to some other appropriate time.”
I thought it was a good proposition.
She explained that she wasn’t interested in the money. That for five years she’s been home without a job, and unable to further her education, and the thought of constantly being at home not knowing where her life was headed was slowly killing her, sometimes making her think of suicide.
She wanted a change of environment. Not money. Or pity.
I hadn’t expected such an answer.
“Alright. You have my word. Come when you’re ready. I will pay for your transport when you’re going back.” I assured her.
After the call, I thought deeply about what she told me. A person could descend to this pit in life where they’ll do anything to get out of their stifling environment. I felt sorry for my friend.
She was taking a bold step. Against her mother’s will. Against every logic. People won’t understand. But she knew that she had to do it for herself. I respected her boldness and the step.
How I wished I could do more than host her in the city for the first time. I know certainly no one will understand us. My girlfriend wouldn’t understand why another girl is at my end for a couple of days. But how can I live with myself should my friend hang herself because she had no one to go to, someone to calm her when things were spiraling out of control in her life?
After our phone conversation, I thought about the times we’ve had together. How I used to chase her, and all the excuses she gave for not accepting to date me. If only she accepted, I wouldn’t have gone through the wasted years with pretenders.
But somehow, I’m grateful to God for the bad times. I think back then, I was a fool and would have messed up her kind soul and heart if she had accepted to date me. Now, I was an adult and thought and acted differently. Now, I’m resolved to do everything within my power to ensure that my friend makes it in life, no matter what others will think is between us, no matter what insults will be hurled at us.
I’ve let so many people down in the past. And this was my golden opportunity to redeem myself.
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Diary of a Wanderer 
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