Diary of a Wanderer

For a long time, I kept turning down girls who were interested in me. I thought their expressions of love were immoral. That was what my Christian upbringing made me believe.

In my little head and small mind, all I saw was me waiting for that day when I had my own apartment, a secure job and an undisputable vision from above and the conviction in my heart that this was the One before I date and get married a few months later, happily married forever after.

This habit of rejecting love proposals continued till there came a  period in my life where nobody was coming again, no one expressed any interest in me again. Less and less of what I kept turning down was drawn to me, until one day, they all wiltered and perished. And out of loneliness, I began searching for dates and found none. As if I were reaping what I planted, I kept receiving rejection after rejection.

That period of dryness and solitude thought me many vital lessons. Many of the girls I saw as “aimless” with their heads filled with nothing but romantic fantasies later became responsible women with good jobs and good social standing who could have been of immense help to me in many ways.

That was when I understood that sometimes in life, in as much as we ought to have boundaries, it pays to be accommodating and appreciative of love gestures instead of making people feel sorry for ever showing their interest in us.

It certainly doesn’t mean dating everyone who comes our way, but finding a very nice way of letting people know how much we appreciate their love although we have to turn down their offer. There are people who must be told a bold NO. And there are those that we must be selective of the words we use is rejecting their love but not their friendship, for you never know what could develop from that friendship. It might not necessarily be marriage but perhaps something much more fulfilling and richly rewarding.

I have come to understand how easily we can influence people interested in us to become something they are proud of. Love humbles a person, and a wise object of love can influence a lover  to greatness, just like any great leader does.

I was at this period in my life when I wrote the poem “Ripe Girls”.

The link is below:

Ripe girls