I used to find it hard to relate with people after a heated argument.
I thought of them as people who should be isolated, their way of thinking was hard for me to accept and I believed the best way forward was to have nothing to do with them henceforth.
It took some time for me to come to the realization that conflicts and misunderstandings were a normal part of dealing with people on a daily basis.
What makes a community human is the ability to disagree, fight and still shake hands and move on. We can’t all see things from the same perspective all the time.
Though you and I might be close friends, it doesn’t mean everything you do and say will have my blessings.
It was therefore necessary for me to learn social skills, learn how to voice my feelings, learn to sit with an “adversary” to talk things out.
I must admit that in such a learning process, I do not see any graduation day ahead of me. It’s something I strongly believe is lifelong.
First, I have come to the realization that many of the drama I find myself in, I carried myself into them with these two chicken feet of mine.
Next time there was a casting call for any drama series, I will think thrice before signing up.
That meant being mindful of who I admitted into my circle, though I needed to remain open and optimistic about meeting new people who could impact my life positively and immensely.
I also learnt to study my ugly sides and to prune them. Scissors for such prunning are hard to come by, aside being heavy to handle. There is also the problem of every pruning exercise : things grow back and need constant checks.
But it’s always worth the effort of going to work on oneself from time to time.
I am beginning to enjoy the process of learning to relate with people. Instead of bottling things inside and stewing in bitterness alone, I’ve learnt to losen up the lid a bit, allow some of the heat to seep out, to pepper the perpetrators a bit.
It’s nice to speak one’s mind, learning how to tailor one’s words to suit the circumstances, sometimes by being diplomatic and sometimes by acting like a bully with the intention of getting the opponent to see some sense in your line of thinking.
The truth is that some people will keep hurting others and exploiting everything around them to their advantage if someone doesn’t stand up to them. I see myself as that “someone” standing, who vows to be every bully’s last victim, the stumbling block that blocks them from ever dreaming of hurting anyone.
Life is a never-ending series of learning and making mistakes and revising lessons. And no matter what variety of extrovert or honest person we become in the process, sooner or later, we come to that realization that not all truths must be told to a person, sometimes for the sake of peace.
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