Temptations awakening

I decide to not knock on his door before going to church. I shouldn’t be the one to always remind him to go to church. He’s an adult. And he knows the route to church.

I hear him on the phone in his room. Perhaps talking to another of his many girls. I wonder what his girlfriend makes of his many female friends. He’s handsome and young, and she might sometimes wonder how secure her place is in his life. Coupled with the long distance between them, and his disinterest in religious matters, I foresee some rough times, maybe moments of truth, ahead of them.

I’ve always said that a man thinks he’s got a girlfriend until a serious competitor comes along. That’s when she begins to reconsider all the things she’s been swallowing for so long. Many girls these days, especially if they’re considering someone to settle with, love men who take their faith seriously. They don’t want to be the ones leading their men to God all the time like some unwilling lamb.

I lock my door. And unlock the main door leading outside. When he’s on the phone, he hardly hears any other thing around him. I’m assuming he didn’t hear me stepping out.

By now the rain had slackened to a drizzle. I hurry through it to the bus stop. I notice a fair lady on the opposite side of the road. She’s always there every Sunday morning, perhaps on her way to church, judging from her appearance. She has a frown on her face, busy looking on her phone as always. Many men passing by stare at her for long, it’s obvious they’ve been  hooked by her beauty, although I couldn’t see where that beauty was. I understand her frown – she must have gotten used to men getting hypnotized by her fair skin, giving her the impression that she was really somebody. Which explains why she sniffs at everything in trousers with contempt.

A bus arrives and I leave with it. The bus conductor gives me more change than I deserve, but after much contemplation, I hand it back to him while alighting.

At church, they were already singing praises. The usher leads me to the seat right behind the front role. I squirm with displeasure.

It’s service as usual. Just that we have a visiting minister, a very young pastor. I used to look down on young inexperienced men of God. But over the years, I’ve noticed that God uses people we look down on to bless many lives. Often, it’s the people we think are hypocrites, or have serious character defects and do not speak good English that are used mightily by God.

And so I listen to the sermon and note what I believe was God’s message to me: that God is always willing to bless us if we are ready. And our readiness shows in our changed attitude.

During offertory time, I disagreed with some of the scriptures cited as bases for the offertory. Monies were taken in the New Testament church with the goal of sharing it according to the needs of church members. However, we cite those same scriptures during offerings for projects that hardly have anything to do with the welfare of church members.

Towards the end of the service, I get a text message from my flatmate, asking if I’ll be home soon. I tell him NO, knowing that he’s probably thinking of sending me money to buy him food when returning home.

“If I stayed home like you did, how would you have bought food for yourself?“ I say to myself.

After church, I get a lift. A colleague takes me on his motorbike, and along the way, he complains about how during Christmas, our company has no Christmas packages for its workers. At first, I didn’t see that as a source of worry, but for a married man like him, I understand why it matters: his wife and kids see other workers come home with big Christmas packages that relieve them of the extra spendings during festive seasons, while he comes home with nothing extra besides his paycheck.

Upon getting home, I decide to pray for a while. The goal was to pray till 6pm before breaking my fast. But the going gets tough as I cross 1pm into 2pm. At some point, I begin to wonder if the fast was necessary, then I console myself that the devil must have seen the blessings coming my way as a result of mu spiritual exercise so he’s trying to dissuade me.

Along the way, I get this insight: to break my fast at three instead of six, and following Sunday, break the fast at six. The gradual shift in the time will make my body gradually adapt rather than try to jump off a high cliff on first try.

I break my fast at 3pm after which I watch the movie Pulp Fiction. About twenty minutes into the movie, I lose concentration. One particular scene drags into several minutes, forcing me to change the movie to Dog Day Afternoon. The plan was to watch for a few minutes then come back later to continue but the suspense of the bank robbery by the naive robbers hook me to my seat till I was over an hour into the movie.

By this time, I felt hungry and paused the movie to go get something to eat by the roadside which was about fifteen minutes walk from my house.

It’s drizzling but hunger drives me through the rain. At the food joint, I wait while the vendor attends to three youngsters. Her back was mostly turned to me all this while and I could not help but notice her fine shape in her slightly tight dress. She was Muslim and much younger than I was. Suddenly I found her attractive although I had been buying food from her for months now. Perhaps it was because I had decided to be serious with my prayer life that’s why temptations that slept around me were now waking up.

I buy my food and hurry home to eat and finish up the movie…