She imagines what it means to have a mother.

Hers died while bringing her into the world. Like some marathon, she was handed the baton. And here she was, wondering what this race is all about.

She recalls the many times she’s hanged unto someone she considered a mom. It didn’t take long to see the distinction in the way biological kids and outcasts like her were treated.

In some corner she would stand, watching her high schoolmates welcoming their family members who came to visit them with all kinds of gifts. Nobody ever came to see her on that campus. And although she worked hard, there was no one to appreciate, to encourage.

Her previous relationship used to provide some solace. Now it was no more. It was becoming obvious why he left -she had little to offer. He didn’t say it, but his new choice spoke on his behalf.

Now there were new prospects. But she certainly didn’t want to choose someone struggling like she was. Even her ex would laugh at her if he found out the pan she’s fallen into after he shook her off. Or was she being discriminatory?

Certain options she overlooked were now truning into her regrets.

Was she where she had always being thanks to her own habits and attitudes ? Or maybe hardwork was the key?

Could all this retrogresion be because of the absence of a mother in her life ? But there were others who made it without any mother figure in their lives.

She thought Ma Mbeki was her mother all this while. But rumors circulated by village gossips have reached her ears. That she was not Ma Mbeki’s biological daughter.

She was  not a child any longer, she could sift rumours to find the truth in them.

She never asked Ma Mbeki about the matter. She preferred it that way.