When we are growing up, we have these grand illusions of what we wanna be, places we want to go and whom we want to marry. Many of these illusions are birthed and kept alive by movies we’ve watched, a favorite song, some picture in a newspaper, book or magazine, spiced by our imaginations.

At some point, the margin between dreaming big and being realistic becomes blur. This blurring of our windscreen can make our progress in life slow and painful. In the midst of the confusion, we hear stories of those who dreamt the impossible and made it happen, and we wonder if our mountain will ever move, if our stones will on one day turn into bread.

One area that many of us struggle to face the naked truth is the area of love. Often, our illusion of a life partner is grandiose – a prince that dies in our imagination and reincarnate over the years into a banker, lawyer, famous actress, a prophet who tells us all of our secrets we’ve never shared with anyone. When the search for a lover stretches into long lonely years, the mirage that the one meant for us is someone unique somewhere whose attendants are taking their time to groom, to fix makeups and wigs, as they patiently follow Google map, inching closer and closer to where we’re located, if only we can wait, just a little longer….is very soothing.

Little do we realize how many treasures come packaged in dirt, and have to be washed, crushed, heated, refined, polished.

Perhaps, the painful thoughts of so much work to be done on ourselves and on our potential partners and on the relationship itself nudges us into the default mode of wishing and wishing, never realizing that we could begin small, by sowing time and energy into cultivating little romance that can blossom into giant trees over the years.

The failure to see things from this perspective, forces us to stand by the window of our high castle of expectations, underrating every potential lover, comparing their image to that of the prince imprinted in our imagination, shaking our heads and saying no to opportunities bypassing us everyday, leaving behind footprints of regrets and uncertainties.

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